ABOUT ME
Hi, I’m Ruth and there is something I know to be true.
Success and service do not have to be mutually exclusive
I used to believe that caring for others and having a successful business could not co-exist
I was selfish if I prioritized myself
I wasn’t a giving person unless I was giving it all
It was only ok to make enough to cover the bills . . . a vacation? What is that?
Valuing others above my own needs at any cost meant that I was a caring person
Making positive change meant giving myself and time away
I made every business decision based on the needs of others
I reduced rates to the point my own bills were barely covered
I set up my schedule to accommodate everyone BUT ME
I allowed no-shows and late cancellations
I was tied to my cell phone . . . what if someone needs me?
The lightbulb came bursting on . . .
the moment I was told by my accountant, “I hope you realize you didn’t make any money this year.”
I went from zealous, I’m going to make a positive change in the world! . . . to “oh shit.”
I cried.
The zealous part of me completely deflated.
I was like one big bright lightbulb standing in a puddle of my disappointment and exhaustion, which I then had to mop up on the way out of his office.
That anger drove me to challenge those messages.
I wanted to make a positive difference in the world but it was beginning to feel like my world was caving in.
Not only am I NOT going to take a vacation. I couldn’t even cover the BILLS for my business.
Anger. Not at my clients. Anger with the beliefs that had been ingrained in me. Anger that I live in a system that tells me I have to give everything in order to make a difference (do good and be a good person) in the world.
Then I learned the truth . . .
Wanting to make a positive difference in the lives of others starts with me . . .
If I don’t value myself, then no one will . . .
If I don’t take care of myself, I cannot adequately provide care for others.
I learned to begin valuing myself, my time, my life, and my family.
This is my inner journey . . .
This is my inner journey . . .
This is when I formally met two parts inside of me, Chuck and Daphne.
Let me introduce you to Chuck and Daphne
Chuck
is my inner caregiver . . . the relational one . . . he is often focused on others and sometimes becomes “chicken little” when it comes to relationships.
Daphne
is my inner business owner, she is practical, diplomatic and assertive. She sets and maintains the boundaries, strategizes and plans for the future.
These two parts of me have been battling it out since the beginning.
It was (and still is) a process and it was challenging, neither Chuck nor Daphne wanted to budge.
I started every business decision with an inner tug-of-war . . .
Then I realized . . . I had to get curious.
Chuck thought he knew what it meant to be a good caregiver . . . turns out he was wrong.
Chuck felt apprehensive about getting to know Daphne . . . Daphne is about business, and business seemed cold and scary.
My apprehension GREW . . . what if I end up actually enjoying business? What will that mean about me?
It felt like my identity was on the line.
I had to face my fear of failure, but more importantly I had to face my fear of success
The one thing I was becoming increasingly aware of, is that I am going nowhere until Chuck and Daphne start getting along.
I began educating myself in business: business classes, marketing consultation, SEO and social media. I found myself soaking in all of this new information about the business world.
Daphne soaked it in and held onto it tight but there was no movement. Chuck felt paralyzed when thinking about APPLYING what he had been learning.
The “what ifs?” took over . . .
Daphne: “You need to charge more . . .”
Chuck: “But what if . . .?”
Daphne: “Stick to your rate . . .”
Chuck: “But what if?”
Daphne: “You can’t do weekends anymore” . . .
Chuck: “But what if . . .?”
Daphne: “You need to enforce your attendance policy! . . .”
Chuck: “But what if . . . ?”
But over time Chuck began to challenge his beliefs about what it means to be a good caregiver.
Then he started to realize . . .
He didn’t have to be accessible to the entire world. He was accessible to the degree he could best serve others and himself
Not being everything to the entire world does not mean he can’t make a difference in the world . . . it’s not all-or-nothing.
As Chuck and Daphne’s conflict began to soften, I gained more clarity and started to recognize that I have unique specialties that people valued and wanted. Coming to terms with this and setting these boundaries meant I was no longer stretched thin with nothing to show for it.
Chuck and Daphne started working together, Chuck had strengths that Daphne didn’t, and vice versa, the more they came to an understanding of the value that each brought to the table their polarization became more balanced.
This is when I discovered it IS possible to run a successful business with a caring heart.
Making space for both Chuck and Daphne allowed me to hold firm to my prices, my time, my overall boundaries with confidence. But most importantly, I was able to provide better care for my clients.
Client flow was slower at first, but then I started generating clientele who were a fit for me.
I found I had more time for myself, time to spend with family, and time to use my skills and volunteer outside of my business.
I found out what balance feels like, on the inside and out.
I am passionate about this message because I highly value making positive change in the world, and I know you do too!
We need businesses that serve others, and business owners that authentically care about their clients’ outcomes.
In balance, polarized parts compliment each other. The part of you that wants to serve others AND the part of you that wants to create abundance and freedom in your business are not mutually exclusive. These parts can work together as an even more powerful team than you could have ever imagined.
Now I am dedicated to bringing your deeply caring heart and entrepreneurial spirit together.
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